Winter Storm Warning Season is upon us all which means family bonding time/trying not to kill each other, making creative dinners from whatever you can find in your pantry, and preparing for the icy road conditions. Now, I know all the “Northern Folk” are like, “
Y’all oops, YOUS GUYS get two inches of snow and people are stranded in Atlanta for days…” Okay yous guys, that happened ONE TIME. I decided today to write a little blog about some amusing things I saw while grocery shopping in Memphis in preparation for tonight’s winter storm that will more than likely leave me on house arrest for a few days. Thanks to some Facebook friends for sending in some of their winter weather preparation traditions.
1. Where are all the shopping carts?
Is this for real? I love that everyone in our neighborhood hit the store all at the same time. Now, I’m just gonna say… I cannot judge on this one. I’m a horrible planner. Going to the store last night was an option. I could have beat the crowds, but ew. Who wants to carve out time in advance when you can let the anticipation build and go one hour before the storm is supposed to start? Live life on the edge, folks…
2. “Grab the bread and milk!”
This will be about 95% of our responses, unless you have a gluten allergy + lactose problem. I’ve seen so many “milk sandwiches” jokes on Facebook, but maybe this is my 22% Northern-ness speaking, I don’t get it. As I was telling my mom about this blog she said, “Make sure you have milk and bread!”
I forgot to get a picture at the Kroger of the bread aisle, but this is pretty much what the Wonder Bread section looked like. Thanks ZeroHedge.com for the picture!
3. No need for real food, just grab the Little Debbies.
Here’s your contrast. Now, I’m not a food snob. I love Ho-Hos just as much as the next girl, but this was just too funny! Is it anyone else’s tradition too to stock up on clementines too when a snow storm comes through? We’ve always done that, but I refrained this time.
4. Grab the clothes hamper, kayak (or if you’re real fancy you’ll have a sled) and prepare to hit the snow/ice! (Thanks Ivorie!)
I’ve never owned a sled (ahem, birthday present idea) and I’ve only been sledding twice. Once in a neighbors backyard and once in Chicago at an actual hill built for sledding. Maury, Aimee and I (California Ave. girls) hit the slope* with a kayak when we were stuck in the house for a week! Luckily, there was plenty of snow and a Save-A-Lot down the road to buy clementines.
5. Help your neighbors out by clearing the roads with your four wheeler.
Let me just add, salt trucks and snow plows don’t go down the majority of our roads. So, once the sun comes out and melts a lot of the snow, overnight it turns into sheets of ice. Mix that with roads that get little sunlight due to hills/mountains, and windy roads, and you’re in for a pretty dangerous combination of black ice and snow.
Thank you to the guy who rides up and down our road in Memphis (which is a city, y’all) with his four wheeler to ensure our roads are clear.
6. “Oh? It’s going to snow next week? Schools cancelled.” (Thanks Jules!)
“They cancel school because of the possibility of inclement weather.”- Lauren, 6th grade teacher.
I like this one a lot. My first year in Illinois it snowed ( I say 4 feet my sister remembers it being 12”), let’s just say it snowed a lot and we still had school… on time! Have you no heart Cook County superintendents? Here we have the opposite problem. We think there’s gonna be snow and we live by the motto (on this one, only) better safe than sorry! Snow days for daysss….
7. Help the little ole ladies with the hair caps at the grocery.
My Nina used to to get her hair permed and whenever she would go outside in the rain, she’d put one of these caps on to protect her hair. Now, you know if you live in the south you see this. And they are precious. And the more precious thing, the staff at the groceries help them load their groceries in their car.
8. Spy on the neighbors and judge them when they do things like…
Scrape the ice/snow off their windshield with metal spatulas…
Spell their name in the snow…
Don’t let their dogs inside (this may or may not have been why we “rescued” our neighbors dog and then they knocked on our door to ask for him back…)
Scrape their windshields with a CD case… (TRUE STORY)
Hang their recently shot & skinned deer from their carport since it’s pretty much a freezer outside anyway (also true story)
9. Prepare like it’s the apocalypse.
Snow’s coming, and heaven forbid it’s like the ice storm of ’94. Everyone remembers that ice storm. In ’94, I was six years old and we lived in a two story home in Memphis. I remember waking up to a loud thud and the oak tree had fallen in between our house and our neighbors and crushed our fence. Mom says it missed our house; dad says it fell on the house. I can’t remember. Branches were falling all over the city due to the weight of the ice, so nearly the whole city was without power. We lost electricity too and one of the only places around us that had it’s own generator was my mom’s office. So, we packed up our bags and slept at my mom’s office for a few days.
Here’s a few survival skills from some friends on Facebook (Thanks Marty and Sharon!):
Have plenty of candles and matches, make sure all your blankets are clean (no dog smells please), salt the driveway, park on the street, get vanilla extract for snow creme (I have yet to try this), get extra animal food, get gas (oops!), make sure your flashlights/lanterns have batteries, stock up on chocolate… and for the love of everything millennial, charge your electronics (Thanks for the reminder Catherine!!).
10. Have so much fun in your 12” or less of snow and celebrate that you have a day off!
It’s not often that we get to play in the snow, so enjoy it while you can! Take it as an enforced pause in life and enjoy the stillness. And really, is there anything more beautiful than the countryside covered in snow? I heart you East Tennessee.
**As per Andy H.’s request I need to put a disclaimer on this blog. I 100% claim to be a southerner. I might not be Alabama southerner (you know the chevron, monogramed and Simply Southern ladies, LOVE them), but to simplify my already woefully complicated life, I claim the title. I dread the question, “So, where are you from?” in group encounters and skirt around it and want to just say, “I’m a mud blood, but I claim Tennessee.” So, just so all the pure breeds know, I claim you as my own. Sorry Illinois, you’ll get ’em next time. And Sorry Senegal, I clearly don’t look like I belong to you either.